Wednesday, November 3, 2010

11.3.10

I always procrastinate writing and digging within to share my feelings, because it takes so much out of me. Its coming though, and long overdue. Jae, I know I keep you waiting when it comes to writing and participating, im sorry for that. Ive learned through watching you how I need to deal with the feelings and let myself be as ambitious as you. The video is coming soon... I promise. Thank you to everyone who has ever lent a listening ear and or a shoulder to cry on.

Sometimes, like recently, I go on my fb page and look at my tagged pictures and my albums, I look at the different people who have tagged them, the names of the albums and the people in my life. It makes me smile, because sometimes I need that reminder of how blessed I am, at those times when I feel so alone. Sometimes I look because I want to see what my mother might see one day when she looks at me, and if she would be proud. I hope she would. Or maybe I look to see if I can find the answer as to why she still does not want anything to do with me, even though I know I wont find it there. Although im unsure if “that day” will ever come because she has yet to respond to any letters, but I will continue to pray, pray that she answers and/or that I can find her or another member of my biological family, pray that one day I am able to meet and embrace someone who shares the same blood running through their veins as me.

Thats all for tonight... Thank you for reading and for your support, it means so much to me !

Monday, October 18, 2010

AshBake's Cakes

 Some of my cakes !!






10.18.10

"Search"updates coming soon! Im excited to be working with my friend Jae on an upcoming project! Stay tuned for details!


There have been alot of highs and lows this semester, thankfully more highs though! Heres a few quick updates:

I am now a God Mother to Miss Aniyah Malia Reliford and I love her with all of my heart. Congrats to my bestie Dominique!

I finally purchased my Dslr camera! Its a Nikon D5000 and I lovee it !

I am really going foward with AshBakes Cakes! I now have a facebook page, twitter and am working on a website, so contact AshBake's Cakes for your custom cake needs!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?filter=lf#!/pages/Orlando-FL/AshBakes-Cakes/146291418746842?v=wall -- make sure to "like" the page!!

& Follow on twitter @AshBakes_Cakes

Pictures to follow ! Happy Monday :)

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Long Overdue

Good Morning Sunday :) I think I slept so much yesterday, I could barely sleep through the night, so here I am up bright and early. Ive been wanting to update for a while so here it goes..

Alot has happened in the past 6 months. I'll start with my internship. In January I started my internship at the BETA Center in Orlando. BETA is a nonprofit organization who has a specialized program for pregnant and parenting teens and their children. BETA houses an alternative school for the girls as well as a residence and child care center. At BETA I was an intern in the development department. I loved it ! I got to experience first hand what was involved in working in development. I learned a lot , made great relationships and didnt want to leave .

This semester I also became a member of Nu Chi chapter of Alpha Kappa Psi, Professional Business Fraternity. This was one of the best decisions Ive ever made ! It was a long stressful semester , but I have gained and learned more than I ever imagined, and best of all I have a great new family :) I <3 style="text-align: left;">


For spring break I went to New York with Dom, and Atlanta after. I also went to the shooting range for the first time for Carle's bday & loved it ! It relieves a lot of stress! I had a great bday myself :) Overall it was a great semester, stayed veryyyyy busy, but wouldn't trade it :)

I was also offered and ...accepted another internship this semester for the fall. The internship is working in a child development center on a U.S. military base in another county. They will be paying for my travel there and back, my housing, and I will also receive a living stipend for food etc. !

So... On August 22nd I will be leaving for ......Germany until Dec 18th! I dont know what region I will be in yet, but I believe they said it will be either the Frankfurt or Nuremburg regions. Im excited but nervous as well. Ill be living there for four months! We will have two consecutive days off each week, so I plan to travel while im there :) This summer im investing in a digital slr camera , so I can jump into my new love for photography and document my trip !





So I guess that leads me until now.. Summer!
Im at home - Palm Beach, working at summer camp, and trying to enjoy the next 2 months before I leave.


Another update I should make it about "My Journey".
A recap:
Last semester I finally paid the money and started the search for my birth parents. A week after I sent the paperwork and $ , I was informed that they had located my mother. They sent her a letter informing her of my desire to meet and know information about her. This happened around thanksgiving I believe. They sent 2 or 3 letters but there was no response.....

Recently my social worker and I decided to send a letter through certified mail , because she would have to sign for it. This would tell us if she is receiving the letters and not responding or not even getting them . I havnt heard back from her yet, hopefully I can call this week. It hurts to think that she may be ignoring the letters, the social worker reminded me that she may have a new family who doesnt know about me, and she doesnt want to disrupt her life. This was hard for me to hear, but its a reality. I think its very selfish, you gave birth to me and cant even have the decency to let me find out who I am and know you? The woman who carried me for 9 months and gave birth to me, you really never want anything to do with me again? I have put myself in her shoes and thought about it long and hard, I dont think that whats shes doing, if its what shes doing, is fair.

I really hope that I can make some progress before I leave for Germany.. That would be great. All I can do now is hope and pray. For all the other adoptees on this same journey, don't loose hope! We just have to keep pushing on , like one of my friends told me" even if the social worker cant help me, Ill find a way!"


Thanks for reading and diving into my thoughts :)

<3 Ash






Saturday, June 19, 2010

:)


Helllooo ! So its been about 6 months since I wrote here. I had a verryyy busy semester and then it was just too emotionally draining to sit down and write my "search" update(s). But its summer and I have some more free time ! Update to follow later on :)

Tootles for now
<3 Ash