11.3.10

I always procrastinate writing and digging within to share my feelings, because it takes so much out of me. Its coming though, and long overdue. Jae, I know I keep you waiting when it comes to writing and participating, im sorry for that. Ive learned through watching you how I need to deal with the feelings and let myself be as ambitious as you. The video is coming soon... I promise. Thank you to everyone who has ever lent a listening ear and or a shoulder to cry on.

Sometimes, like recently, I go on my fb page and look at my tagged pictures and my albums, I look at the different people who have tagged them, the names of the albums and the people in my life. It makes me smile, because sometimes I need that reminder of how blessed I am, at those times when I feel so alone. Sometimes I look because I want to see what my mother might see one day when she looks at me, and if she would be proud. I hope she would. Or maybe I look to see if I can find the answer as to why she still does not want anything to do with me, even though I know I wont find it there. Although im unsure if “that day” will ever come because she has yet to respond to any letters, but I will continue to pray, pray that she answers and/or that I can find her or another member of my biological family, pray that one day I am able to meet and embrace someone who shares the same blood running through their veins as me.

Thats all for tonight... Thank you for reading and for your support, it means so much to me !