Long Overdue

Good Morning Sunday :) I think I slept so much yesterday, I could barely sleep through the night, so here I am up bright and early. Ive been wanting to update for a while so here it goes..

Alot has happened in the past 6 months. I'll start with my internship. In January I started my internship at the BETA Center in Orlando. BETA is a nonprofit organization who has a specialized program for pregnant and parenting teens and their children. BETA houses an alternative school for the girls as well as a residence and child care center. At BETA I was an intern in the development department. I loved it ! I got to experience first hand what was involved in working in development. I learned a lot , made great relationships and didnt want to leave .

This semester I also became a member of Nu Chi chapter of Alpha Kappa Psi, Professional Business Fraternity. This was one of the best decisions Ive ever made ! It was a long stressful semester , but I have gained and learned more than I ever imagined, and best of all I have a great new family :) I <3 style="text-align: left;">

:)

Helllooo ! So its been about 6 months since I wrote here. I had a verryyy busy semester and then it was just too emotionally draining to sit down and write my "search" update(s). But its summer and I have some more free time ! Update to follow later on :)

Tootles for now
<3 Ash

Holiday Emotions

So Im watching "Kendra: Here comes baby " ont E! Well shes pregnant, and its Christmas time and both her and Hank's familys are there waiting for Kendra to have the baby. The men went out and got the tree, and the women stayed home and made dinner. On the little Confessional part Kendras mom is talking about how everything is perfect bc its the holidays and the family is together. Then the Grandma suprises them and kendra is soo happy. Her Grandma says she couldnt miss the "most important time in her life"

Soo the point of thlis is is that I was watching it thinking that I want to be pregnant during christmas time- when that time comes- and be close and spend time with the family ( mine and his) -- my dream is to have a big close family, because im not close with mine now
Well while thinking about this I started to think about when my mother was pregnant with me and how she was pregnant at Christmas time because I was born in April . For the first time it made me think wow.. I was with her for 9 months! She carried me around, I went everywhere she went.. people asked about me,she gained weight, she had to wear maternity clothes, she waddled around with me , her ankles swole because of me, people congratulated her, we spent a Christmas together, She endured labor with me, just to give me away! I cant imagine doing this. Of course this is a "duhhh" lol but Ive never really thought about it like that. Thinking about it makes me feel a connection to her that Ive never felt before. She had to recover from labor.. without a baby , without anything to show for it. I love her and I dont think Ive ever let myself think this deep into it . Wow... Just wanted to share that..
If your adopted,
Have you ever had one of these moments ? and if so when did this hit you?

Goodnight!

My Journey

As some of you may know, Im adopted. I was given up at birth and adopted by my family at one month old. I am currently in the process of trying to find my birth parents, and i have recently started the "official" search. I have documented through pictures, my journey thus far. This is a huge step for me. I started to look into searching my freshman year of college, and am just now getting to this point. before this last year or two, I had never really talked to another adoptee about our situations. My whole life I have had all of these questions and feelings and no answers. It can make you feel very lonely sometimes, and confused.
Sometimes you question who you really are and where you come from. There is a lot that you cannot understand unless you are in our shoes. Some people may not even understand that <--- statement, that is why I choose to talk more to my friends who are adoptees as well, about these issues.This is because to others, I feel they think its irrelevant or not important. I am so thankful for these people that God has brought into my life, you know who you are. Its great to be able to talk to you about this, and for you to understand!! I also want to thank the select friends who I am able to talk to this about and actually listen. You may not realize, but it truly means a lot. There is a lot about me that I don't think people understand. You can call me sensitive, or mean, but there is a lot behind that. A lot deals with this situation and some deals with past experiences, some from my childhood. ------> If you don't know what im talking about or haven't given me the time of day and asked me about it, and STILL criticize for it then you probably aren't a TRUE friend. <-------- So once again I want to let you know that I am truly appreciative for all of my friends who are there for me through this journey :)

Journey so far.
- Sent papers and $300.00 to Diocese of Palm Beach Catholic Charities
- One week later, was informed that my birth parents had been located and that a letter had been sent to them, to inform them of my location, and ask permission to inform me of theirs
- Right now, I am waiting for a response, praying that I recieve one soon and that they want to meet me.

The risk is that they may want nothing to do with me, denying me of knowing them. I am terrified that this will happen, but all I can do now is pray, which I do continuously.

To those who are on the same or similar journey as I am, have hope! Our day will come!

Theres a lot more that I wanted to write in this note, but decided not to because it doesnt apply to everyone, so just know that I wish that certain people would ask and talk to me about certain things before they criticize.






Getting the form notarized!


Sending the paperwork and check!